I often look into the mirror and wonder what others see. Do they see confidence? Pride? Conceit? Maybe they see a man of principle who is unmoved by the temptations we come across every day. I know I can’t say for sure what others see, but I know what is really there. And honestly, it’s not what most would think.
Questioning. Self-doubt. Love. Emotion. If I had to describe myself, I’d say quietly emotional. Observant. Empathetic. I’m the kind of person that will hug you and then kick the living shit out of the one who hurt you — with words most times, but I’m not above dishing out an old-fashioned ass whipping when it’s needed. I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me. And yes, it can be to a fault.
One thing I’ve realized as I’ve been doing the writing thing, both here and in my journal, is that there are only a few people out there who know the real me — and that’s ok. I realized that every time I let someone in, I lose a piece of myself to them. It’s not a piece of myself I can get back either. But you know what? I get a piece of them in return…and it makes me a better person (most days).
It’s why I’m careful about who I choose to surround myself with, because I know that each person will change me. And honestly, that’s ok. That’s life, and I love the growing that I’ve done over the few years I’ve been around.
Short post today, but I don’t know what else I can say. I’m trying to be the man I want to be…and sometimes I need to remember that my reflection and what I see isn’t always the truth.